In Search of My American Soul

I have spent twenty years attempting to follow the pathway to cultural success. What happens when you do all the things they tell you to do? Who are They?  Not sure, nor do I care; For the purpose of clarity They are unimportant. Let us think of them as: the authority. All of us follow …

El Modelo Negro Gets Older… Not Wiser, Just Older

Ten years ago today, I was celebrating my 21st birthday. I told a Police Officer to hold a moment "while I vomit into this bush" I wish my subsequent birthdays had been classier... alas, I'm sure you can imagine that they were not. -22: I threw up in my mother's front yard in an upscale …

It’s Sunday Morning, do you know where your morals are?

7:15 on Sunday morning. A strange mix of feelings set in: guilt, panic, with a twinge of disgust and a slight wave of nausea. Those who are familiar with these symptoms recognize them for what they represent: You are about to make the walk of shame. Sure, your outfit looked great under the dazzling lights …

I learned all my skills from Lil’ Kim

Ok, so maybe not ALL of my skills, but I learned a thing or two from the Queen 'B'

Music Monday: Darkchild 99

Y'all, I was thinking... Darkchild, the music producer, has put out some pretty awesome songs. Personally, his best songs came when he was still saying "Darkchild 99".  For shits and giggles, here are ten of the best, not in any particular order. Happy Music Monday! "The Boy Is Mine" - Brandy and Monica "He Wasn't Man …

You Can Call Him ‘King B’

Bruce Springsteen is currently on a world tour right now. This is news to me because I thought Bruce only tours New Jersey and the American Heartland. This past week, Springsteen was in a land down under, technically in New Zealand, but close enough for me. And for some reason that is fully unknown to …

I should apologize… or Reason 231 why I’m single

...for the things I said when I was hungry. Japanese Tapas. That's what we dined upon. Who knew that the Japanese were so much like the Spaniards with their want to starve me on an impromptu date? Of course, knowing that sushi is nothing more than a tease of the palette, I should have expected …

I need to make some headway…

There was a period of time when I tried to make hats happen for myself. It didn't go over so well. But now that I was informed by Lady Venezuela today that my male pattern balding has decided to begin phase two in the rear of my head.... Hats will need to make a comeback. …

5 Reasons Why Winter Sucks or… Global Warming, my Ass!

"Baby, it's so cold, where you are... another chilly winter in New York." -"Chilly Winter", Maroon 5 I feel like I have documented a few times how Mother Nature is not a fan of El Modelo Negro... most notably here. If there were ever a reason to believe that lowdown heifer is out to get …

5 Reasons El Modelo Negro is cooler than most pop stars

The other day, my friend Lady Venezuela, said to me she wishes she could go a day in her adult life without having a conversation about Britney Spears. Obviously, when you are friends with El Modelo Negro, that's nearly impossible because I have a daily minimum of times that I MUST talk about La Spears …