As promised here is my lovely little interview with Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka. If you have not experienced the AWESOMENESS that is Aunt Becky, read her blog. Trust me, you will be VERY happy you did.
Aunt Becky: Dave and I have a long-standing feud over cheese in a can. He thinks it’s food of The Gods while I think it’s probably Of The Devil. Your take?
Modelo Negro: Hmmm, methinks this will lose me points with my favorite Aunt, but I must agree with The Daver on this one. Cheese in a Can, yes please. ( It must be a Y chromosome thing.) And the fact that it is the primary ingredient of an authentic Philly Cheese-steak is proof positive…
AB: Is there any way you can think of to make the elder Gosselins go away? I AM ALL EARS.
MN: I think they melt in water… like the wicked witch of the west. The male Gosselin doesn’t look like he showers. And how can Mama Gosselin get a shower in with the gaggle of kids? I’d imagine one really good rainstorm takes the adults out in a puddle of irrelevance. One can only hope.
AB: Who is your ridiculous “I can’t admit this to anyone in polite company lest I be banned from life” crush
MN: I don’t have polite company. They all stay waaayyy too long and drink all my beer. But I’d imagine if I did
have polite mannered friends, I’d say my “I can’t admit this to anyone in polite company lest I be banned from life” crush would be Mark Wahlberg. Why… I mean the guy was a bigoted teenager and not that sociable from all accounts… basically he was/is a dick, but I mean, HONESTLY! He’s F*n Marky Mark! He and I could cause so much damage.
AB: If you could fuck it all and pursue your dream (assuming, of course, you were going to be GOOD at it), what would that dream be?
MN: I’d be Number One Badass Pop/Rock Star. Think Michael Jackson… not the strangely effeminate white version, but the Thriller-writing, I may or may not have hooked up with Tatum O’neal version. He was a dancing Zombie, Dammit!
AB: They say “living well is the best revenge.” I think they are wrong. Do you?
MN: A ripe flaming bag ‘o poo and shaving your adversary’s eyebrows and head is better revenge. Or pushing them down the stairs. I know that ALWAYS makes me feel better. Then I go live well.
AB: What is the most humiliation you’ve experienced in public that you’d be willing to admit to The Internet?
MN: I haven’t been lucky enough to be too humiliated in public, but I was totally that kid in middle school, and occasionally high school, who couldn’t go up to the chalkboard, for OBVIOUS reasons. Sometimes, I still refuse to walk to some offices… for those same reasons.
AB: Are you honest with The Internet? Like, if I came over to your house tonight (heh)(I’m coming over, yo)(heh) would I be surprised at who I found?
MN: If I’m at home, I am doing one of 3 things: Eating, Sleeping, or sitting on my laptop. If I am outside of my home, I probably destroying my reputation. And partially snookered. So I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description of me both online and in person.
AB: If you could have one talent that you don’t currently possess, what would it be?
MN: Duh, fly.
AB: There’s not always room for Jello. Is there?
MN: Uhh.. no but there is always room for cookies and cream ice cream. And cheese cubes.
AB: What’s your guiltiest of the guilty pleasures?
MN: I like to sing Britney Spears songs at the top of my lungs while flexing in the mirror.
And MTV reality show marathons!
I am that guy!